Hamms – Not to be Consumed While Alive

Greetings readers, reviewers from China, and that one person who stumbled here from Pinterest. It’s been a while since we’ve talked. I just.. needed some time away, a little break. It’s not you, it’s me.

Who am I kidding, it’s you.

In any event I’m back and obviously so are you, glad we worked this out.

Here’s Music:

So the main reason it’s been so long since I’ve posted is vacation, and laziness. Mostly laziness.

The family went for our annual week long retreat in Duck, NC where we drink and listen to children scream. We also enjoyed the beach, kayaked in the sound, saw a lighthouse, went to the aquarium, and drove through a magical store to buy beer. I posted a few photos here.

I’ll wait while you peruse them.

Oh hey, you’re back!

I suppose you’re wondering what the Hamm’s business is? You see, I tried to kill my uncle today.

Should I explain further or just leave it at that?

I was perusing the offerings of my local Walmart online grocer and found that they have Hamm’s beer available as a cost effective alternative to the all too pricey PBR. When you click the link the first thing you see is a Surgeon General warning which I oh so cleverly misread something to the effect of “Not to be consumed while alive”. Well my uncle apparently really wanted one of these beers because he made a valiant attempt to end it all right there.

Unfortunately he was mid swig of water when I made my hilarious joke. What followed was.. well I won’t describe in too much detail but there was quite a bit of choking and a fairly purple face. Bit of a scare.

I’m happy to say that no death occurred (psh you already know that, I wouldn’t be writing this I’d be renting a back hoe) and all parties are alive and not drinking Hamm’s.

I did order a case of PBR though.

-Jed

1 thought on “Hamms – Not to be Consumed While Alive

  1. Elizabeth Jones Thompson July 5, 2018 — 1:12 am

    So glad you didn’t off the Uncle. It’s 4th of July after all. Would have been a real downer. All’s well that ends well.

    Like

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