Extremely Employable – Part II

Part II in the 6 month 83 part series diving into my employment history brings us to the exciting world of pizza delivery.

Did you miss Part I? Click here to catch up!

A long long time ago when I was poor (that doesn’t narrow it down) and bored (neither does that) I took a job at Domino’s as a Delivery Expert.

I believe I sought work as a delivery driver because it seemed like the easiest possible thing I could do to make money and I could listen to music and drive. What could be better?

The nice thing about working at Domino’s – especially the location I was at – was that they only got robbed every few years so there was a good chance my term of employment would be during a lul. Happily, I never took part in any ‘at gunpoint’ incidents.

Every delivery expert needs a whip, mine was a ’92 Ford Escort GT in teal green with color matched rims and pin striped seats. It featured a 1.8L DOHC engine borrowed from a Mazda 323 paired with a 5 speed manual transmission and a clutch made of teflon. It also had a gas tank with a leaky seal which wofted some of that good good gas air into the car. The car was made to such a strict quality standard that they didn’t even bother giving it a 6 digit odometer.

I rolled that bad boy over to 0.




I actually served two tours for Domino’s. The first was in my hometown I believe during summer break from college. The second was at school.

Pizza delivery at school was definitely more exciting, we were open ’til 4AM and 95% of deliveries were to people too wasted to breathe. When the bars screamed last call the zombie hoard of carry out orders made their way to us. We also had a drive through window which I recall more than one individual ordering at the window and waiting for their pizza. It’s best not to say anything and let it be.

Despite occasionally delivering on frozen roads I only got in one accident. I parked behind a jacked up truck, passengers got in the truck, truck backed through my bumper and radiator. It’s ok I fixed it with a terrible bondo job.


Prior to the bondo it was fixed with a bulge of spray foam that was painted sparkly purple. Damn I wish I could find a photo.

All in all it was a fun job. It paid ok, during peak time it was fast paced and kept me busy. I became pretty awesome at folding pizza boxes. And it was my first introduction into the world of professional dishwashing. We’ll probably come back to that in episode IV.


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