Extremely Employable – Part IV

Today’s episode brings you to Jed’s worst job choice ever. I lasted one day. I made minimum wage.. well that’s not true, I never actually got paid, but I was supposed to make minimum wage. Here’s some period appropriate music for today’s story.

This would have been Senior year of college 2007-2008 time frame. I used to enjoy stopping for afternoon rail drinks at Big Al’s bar with my roommate (who shares a name with me, we’ll call him Jed) and our friend Kaaaatie. It was much easier to get to the bar and get a pool table in the afternoon when your only competition was three or so locals.


Also drinks were super cheap and I’m pretty sure the billiards were free.

One fateful day I was sitting up at the bar when I overheard the bartender saying something about needing a dishwasher. I needed money. ‘What does it pay?’ I asked. ‘.. that’s the thing.. minimum wage’ she replied.

‘No problem!’

I am not a smart man, we’ve established this. So I took a job as a dishwasher for minimum wage my senior year of college while studying to be a mechanical engineer.

For those keeping score, neither career choice worked out.

With the exception of Domino’s which come to find out didn’t count, I never washed dishes in a commercial kitchen before. The kitchen actually served 2 restaurants – Poor Billy’s and Big Al’s. The kitchen was downstairs in Poor Billy’s.

I was surprised to find out just how tiny the kitchen was. I couldn’t believe they served two restaurants from that space. My space was extremely tiny. I got the run down from the cook and got to work. I was extremely busy but did my best to keep pace. Eventually though, I found myself getting way behind. Luckily the cook stepped in to show me the trick to a speedy dish wash, half assing it. Fill a pot up with utensils, stir it, dump it, clean.

I also found that the dishwasher doesn’t just wash dishes, they shuck oysters. There was a second kitchen in a building behind the restaurant where the oysters were housed. I never shucked oysters in my life prior and I haven’t since. Just like washing dishes I was given a brief tutorial and sent to a solo shucking mission. I guess I succeeded?

One strong perk of the job was at the end of my shift I got a meal and a beer, I mean really can you beat that? The meal cost more than I would have made in my shift. I also got ‘tipped out’ by the wait staff! I made literally dollars!

Well after one night of this job I did a little reflecting, and decided screw it, this is stupid, I should be drinking and partying and not making 5 bucks an hour washing crap off of plates. Night 2 I called out and that was all she wrote. It also got me out of my afternoon Big Al’s trip for a bit, couldn’t show my face around the angry people I left hanging! Not during the day at least. It was too crowded at night for anybody to care.


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