On Jed’s Secret Service

Skip to about a minute since the embed feature of my webhost is screwy.

It was early afternoon Sunday when Jed thought to himself “this is the best day I’ve had in a while”.

It was a lapse in judgement. How had Jed forgotten? How could he be so foolish?

The Universe perceived thoughts of Joy emanating from the Red Shed and promptly realigned the stars.

The Good Book Of Jed 5:14-16

I sure hope you weren’t looking forward to a post that isn’t about mud. This post is about mud.

First, a series of unrelated photos that I would like to share.

This book could have easily been written by my older brother. Glad he’s not alone in his sense of humor. It’s on The Boy’s birthday list.
I’ve redecorated my office, keep those coworkers on edge I say.
My goats still don’t understand that there are certain places they shouldn’t poop. Boundaries.
Mid weekend growler run, safety first.

Now that we got that out of the way..

Project ‘Drain The Swamp’ continues.

I broke out the sledge hammer and demolished the square frame that was installed over my cylinder cistern. I guess it was to bring the level up, I hate it though. It’s ugly and crumbling. I’ll have to figure out the lid situation, ideally it will be something that allows standing water to drain in.

In spite of standing water in my yard, I pushed forward and installed 3 sections of my french drain. I had already put 2 in and removed them to dig out a little more muck. The whole thing is not as deep as I’d like but at this point I need the project to be done.

The manufacturer recommends covering these in top soil instead of my garbage clay that won’t allow water through. So I grabbed a trailer full of dirt and made the stupid stupid mistake of backing it into the back yard. In an effort to steer the trailer away from the goat pen I put my car right into the swampiest part of my yard and sunk it.

No worries, I’ll get it out when the trailer’s empty.

The Boy and I got to work shoveling dirt into the trench. He hung out in the trailer for a long time, even ate lunch on the dirt pile with the help of two goats and a dog. He also watered the lawn. Thanks.

Dirt added, and it’s finally starting to look like something!

I took a break from dirt to focus on electrical. The sump pump has been running off of an extension cord for a few weeks now. Time to get something permanent installed. I vacuumed a pull string through, pulled some CAT5 back through, and used that to pull my 3 conductors through. This was the wire left over from wiring up my pull, I had just enough. More work to do there but I just wanted to get conduit in the ground so I could keep filling the hole with dirt.

After a solid morning of work I decided to head out to the big orange store and get more supplies for the afternoon. Fate had other plans. I spent a good while digging my car further into the mud. I shoveled out mud, added dry dirt, added sticks and bricks.. nothing. It’s almost like I don’t know what I’m doing. I tried to use my wife’s car to pull it out, we just made more ruts. I walked over to my neighbor’s house for help but he wasn’t home.

Time to get resourceful.

I’m not sure how I forgot but when I bought my slightly used 2015 Grand Cherokee I got the add on winch package. So I brought out a few straps and chains as well as my Amazon high quality chain hoist. I tied it to the bottom of my gate post and started pulling my car.

It wasn’t easy but it worked. the hoist jammed up lot, it’s like it’s not made to be used laying on the ground in the mud.

Edit: How could I forget this important detail? After pull 1 I hopped in the car to see if I magically found traction. Press the start button, aaand it dies. Out of gas. To the Red Shed, luckily I had about gallon of year old gasoline, I’m sure that won’t hurt my car. Filled it up and back and business. Started the car, spun wheels. So I halved the length of my tow rope and reset the hoist.

After two full pulls and still no traction I realized I had been pulling the car in Park. It has this cool safety feature that automatically puts it in park no matter how bad you want it to be in neutral. Luckily, I know where the super secret neutral handle is. Finally in neutral I gave a third pull and got the bumper up to the gate. Hopped back in and tore the remains of my yard up while I spun the Hell out of there. Success? Success.

I decided not to go to the store after this. Maybe next weekend.


Cover Photo by Philippe Toupet on Unsplash

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